Monday, 29 August 2011

PAGE 51 (Team LSD)

Morning, afternoon, evening - wherever you happen to be when this latest dawdle through the world’s more recent error messages reaches you readers , in the best of health I hope for all. Of course you can bank on the subject matter pertaining to recent events in Tunisia and Egypt (doesn’t everything??) I should be sleeping, watching Planet of the Apes on the laptop, or exploring Barcelona’s Fira district about now, but have decided against it for the excuses that follow, and yes, in that order. Air France have robbed me of my shuteye capabilities via 2 different highly compressed tin cans with wings - nobody should have entrusted Tim Burton, Danny Elfman, and that geezer from Nu Kids on the Block with a task of such institutional magnitude. And talking of other magnanimousness, the view from my window of 21st century Catalunya reminds me all too deeply of the unwillingness to be dwarfed and impotized by such architecture, but to embrace it as one would devour the skyline of a Shanghai or Dubai sunset. Add in the absence of cars, bikes or Oxelo kickscooters (for those who don’t know, I swear by them for getting around town), and to top it all off, SOD IT I’M INSPIRED!!!!

First off, Iain Banks, if you are reading this, GET IN TOUCH NOW !!!! You can STOP being like any other author and hiding behind your publishing companies being oh so mysterious, only Gibson gets away with that. The internet is coming for the likes of you, and then, like the rest of us creative media types that have suddenly been done out of a living due to the omnipresence of the world wide web (more on this later) you’ll need all the friends you can get, whatever the social network….

Irony, Irony, the sweet fu*king IRONY! I’ve probably said it before and I will say it again just in case it hasn’t sunk in yet, IRONY IS YOUR FRIEND AND NEIGHBOUR!!! It really seems to be not only what I believe in, but also hanging out on a golf course with its best friend FATE these days (Barca bringing back fleeting memories of Steve Ballasteros and that twat Dickie Davies who repeatedly and without pity or remorse, destroyed the first 10 minutes of my Saturday afternoon right up till when the A-team were on,…sorry) Alright ALRIGHT, I’ll get to the point of all this, as the rest seems pointless for now. ‘Ok Simon why is irony …blah blah blah etc etc’ My other screen is set to BBC World (that’s how good this hotel is- I feel like Hollis Henry from spook country!) and what’s sliding cross dat screen? The revolution in Egypt of course, and all those newly unrepressed peoples dancing in the streets (gotta rethink my dancefloor game plan I reckon, gabber bouzouki with a touch of belly dancer voice anybody?) and how happy they are down in North Africa that yet another president after Tunisia has turned round and gone. Sod this for a laugh, I’m on a Learjet outta here NOW, you want the country so bad, GET ON WITH IT!! I’m off to Berlusconi’s villa for a bit of underage prostitution shenanigans now my principles are shot to fuck and I don’t have a home no more! AWW COME ON….the Catholic Church used to let schoolboys into the clergy, today it’s the OTHER WAY ROUND!!!!

PAGE 51 (Team LSD) LSD Magazine

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